Internalized PDA
I also have experience in working with the internalized PDA (persistent drive for autonomy) profile of Autism, meaning people who highly value autonomy and rely on masking and people pleasing/fawning to cope with life. This is not a disorder, but just a certain profile of Autism. These clients tend to not like some social conventions or interactions that seem fake or superficial, like going to parades/pep rallies or small talk.
As a feature of this profile, some of my clients are quite empathetic and caring while also being drawn to one or more dark themes, such as horror movies, rock/metal music, villain characters, dark humor, Halloween, disastrous/mysterious historical stories like the Titanic or Chernobyl, death, and/or true crime. Some of my clients feel like they have a rebel part of them or a part interested in these dark themes that they have learned to conceal, as others don’t quite “get it.” I consider PDA to be largely a matter of somebody just seeing and facing some realities about how things are, with less sugarcoating it.
Clients describe it sometimes like feeling like the “stars have to align” in order to get certain tasks done and might have previously thought it was “laziness,” executive dysfunction, or just burnout, when PDA might be a part of the picture. Neurotypical or even some traditional ADHD/autistic strategies often will not work well for you if you have this profile; working with a PDA profile requires creative strategies uniquely attuned to you and your needs.